How to Spot a Gambling Problem in a Loved One
Recognizing the signs of gambling addiction in a loved one can be challenging, especially since those struggling with the issue may try to hide or deny it. However, by paying close attention to their behavior and changes in their habits, you can identify potential problems early and offer support before things escalate.
Emotional and Psychological Changes
- Unexplained mood swings: If your loved one seems anxious, irritable, or unusually depressed, and you know they are gambling, those things can be linked.
- Preoccupation with gambling: They may talk excessively about gambling or exhibit obsessive thoughts about winning and losing.
- Shame, guilt and denial: They may get defensive and deny the whole thing or avoid talking about their gambling habits when questioned. They may even deny it in the face of clear evidence, but show clear signs of shame and guilt.
Financial and Time-Related Issues
- Money problems: Sudden financial difficulties, borrowing money, or frequently asking for loans could indicate gambling losses.
- Spending recklessly: If they spend large amounts of money on gambling or stop paying important bills, that’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.
- Increased secrecy: Financial statements are suddenly private or lost, the gambler can open private accounts or take loans with new companies..
- Red notices increase: Overdue bills, statements and collection/disconnection notices become a regular thing.
- Missing or overextending time: They may disappear for long periods, claim to be “busy,” or consistently break plans to gamble.
Relationship Strain
- Avoiding family and friends: Increased isolation, withdrawal from loved ones, or missing social gatherings are warning signs that aren’t limited to gambling.
- Dishonesty: If they lie about their gambling or losses, it’s a cause for concern. You might notice inconsistent stories or contradictions – don’t ignore them.
- Relationship conflict: Gambling problems cause tension, break the trust, and lead to arguments – it’s inevitable. Emotional distance is a hallmark of a compulsive gambler.
Physical and Health Issues
- Sleep disturbances: If your loved one can’t sleep, or is disappearing at night to gamble online, that can have serious knock-on consequences.
- Neglecting personal care: A sudden lack of interest in self-care is a solid indicator of depression. That can be a sign that gambling is taking over.
What You Can Do
It’s hard to broach this subject, especially as gambling addiction tends to protect itself with a thick layer of denial and deflection. While it can be easier to turn a blind eye, eventually, this will grow into a problem you simply can’t ignore.
You can take practical steps, and only then can you know what the best approach is with your partner, family member, or friend. The simple options are:
Offer support: Express your concern and offer a sympathetic ear at any time or help with accessing gambling support groups and counseling. While friends and family can be enough, a serious gambler may need professional help, and you should encourage them to seek it out.
Be Patient But Firm: If it truly is a gambling addiction, then recovery will take time. Support them, but not at the cost of your own life. Set firm boundaries and be prepared to walk away if you don’t see consistent improvement and effort on their part.
Contact support groups: The support lines are there for you as well, and trained counselors can help you reach out more effectively and help the problem gambler admit the issue and seek help for themselves.
Spotting a gambling problem early is key to getting your loved one the help they need. If you believe your loved one is struggling, don’t wait—take the first step toward offering support and encouraging them to seek help.
